Jodha Akbar

Jodha Akbar. The only thing short about this movie is the title.

4 hour long movie with an interval after 2 hours! Dialogues long enough to be disqualified in many elocution competitions. Rooms the size of a railway station in forts of incomprehensible dimensions. 6 foot hunk, huge emperor of India romancing a stunning princess who was born with a ring to her nose which grew into a cycle tyre by the time she was 18 (I bet Ash would have undergone a plastic surgery to get her sagging nose back to shape after a breathtaking weightlifting act with her nose).

And plates!! Akbar and his generals eat in plates big enough to feed a dozen elephants for a few weeks!

I missed about 10 mins of the start thanks to my hunt for a burger. But what is 10 mins..in an Ashutosh Gowariker's movie - may be a dialogue or two or a single stroll of the hero. Strolls, JA is as much about romance as about the lonely walks of Akbar. It is already 12 hours since I saw the movie and the picture that comes to my mind is that of Hritik walking leisurely through his grand forts.

Okay..the story is this - Jalaaluddin (There are actually 5 prefixes and 26 suffixes to his name, which fortunately werent taken in every introduction to Akbar..else..I would have been in the theater even now :D) in his quest to bring the whole of India under the Moghul rule agrees to marry a Raput Princess (hhmm..how can anyone do otherwise if the princess is as beautiful as Ash). This marriage transforms Akbar into the first Muslim ruler of India winning the hearts of Indian masses(There is a song...in praise of Akbar..which looks like the first version of Milein Sur Mera tumhaaraa....people from most parts of India..performing before the emperor).

Jodha, it seems had to actually get converted to Islam and take the title Mairam-Uz-Zamani and was actually the third and not the last wife of Akbar. And he wasnt all that "Aman savvy" as shown in the movie.

Putting the question of the authenticity of the story aside, Ashutosh does a decent job in keeping people in the theater for 4 hours even after blowing a love story into such a lengthy saga. All the grandeur did pay off! :-)

At a few moments you feel that AG is blissfully unaware of a highly developed field in modern day cinema known as editing. You cant help feeling that you are seeing a chronicle of the protaganist's life :D

I pray he doesnt make a movie about Atal Bihari Vajpaaye or Jyoti Basu..the movie tickets would have to be booked along with hotel rooms :-)

Well..it seems there was an editor..Ballu Saluja..watch out for this guy..he will ensure you will see two movies at the price of one!

Finally, if you plan to watch this movie, please take care of these things

1. U r not concentrating on understanding the dialogues - its very tough!! People come up with these well crafted, superbly pronounced stuff seconds before they die! :D Just go by the flow..you know the story anyways! :-)

2. Dont go for a second show - its very difficult to find an auto by the time the movie ends....a good idea if you had to go for a second show is wait for a couple of hours for dawn to break.

3. U can sleep off very comfortably at any time. As my friend figured out, even after taking a nice nap, Hritik was still looking at Ash with those expectant eyes(Aaaah...its a real sight..seeing Ash and Hritik look at each other without saying much for months! :D)